Sunday Appreciation – Law of Attraction

This is one of ‘those’ posts – where I just need to vent. I’ve actually never posted like this before, but today’s a good day to start.

By today’s title, you’ll notice I try and follow Law of Attraction principles. That’s the little sidebar thingie on the right. Most days I truly am full of appreciation, even if it’s only for small things. But then life can throw a little curveball when you least expect it.

It was a simple thing, really. Actually very trivial. Just a spat between Hubby & me last night. After 20 years of marriage, these are not uncommon. But the pattern has always been if I speak up and he does not agree, he speaks up louder and I back down.

Now I’m a strong, independent woman. Always have been. But for some reason, I often feel like a little girl who’s been chastised. Even though I know he doesn’t mean to make me feel that way. Which takes me to LOA.

Back in the day when Dr. Phil was new and a little more palatable IMHO, he used to ask, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” Well, I see that this dynamic is not working for me with Hubster.

Here’s the thing – I’ve been reading about allowing people to be as they are, not trying to change them to suit me. Acknowledging that it’s not my role to make them happy – it’s theirs. Nor is it their job to make me happy – that’s all mine.

Oh, but that’s easier said than done, as I slipped into wounded feelings last night.

This morning I got up, still feeling hurt, and knew I wanted to ‘shift my energy.’ How to do this? After years of books, tapes, LOA and my faith, I have a myriad of techniques and processes to choose from.

I decided upon a Focus Wheel. Many positive thinking authors write about this. But this is how I do it.

draw a circle – about 2” on a sheet of paper.

• in the 1:00 position I wrote how I was feeling in that moment - “I’m hurt & depressed by what he said last night”
• then in the 2:00 position, I wrote “I know he didn’t really mean what he said” That was a little better, but still felt a little hollow.
• 3:00 I know it’s not my job to make him happy
• 4:00 It’s also not his job to make me happy

Are you getting the idea of this? It’s just to move around the circle – focusing your thoughts – until you feel better. Just a little better. Enough to shift the energy.

By the time I got around to 12:00 I had moved up the Emotional Scale and truly felt better. Then inside the circle I wrote, “I am in the present moment, loving & appreciating M, as well as myself.”

Following LOA principles, my goal this morning was to feel good. Just me. Because, like attracts like. That’s the whole premise of LOA in a nutshell.

I can’t change last night. I can’t change him or how he feels. But I can change how I respond to him. I can feel better in this moment. That in and of itself makes our relationship stronger because it’s always easier to be around someone who is feeling good.

And, yes, I’m a ‘people-pleaser’. I think most of us women are, by nature. Even to our own detriment. And in my relationship, words don’t work. He’s a much better talker than me, believe me. I get emotional and tongue-tied.

So I retreat, get quiet, do a focus wheel, find things to appreciate, and, yes – I feel better!

One last thing – feng shui. Looking around my house & property in the Love & Marriage area, I see tons of junk.

On our property, my barn is in Love & Marriage – tons of clutter and junk. Years’ worth. In my home, it’s an unused room off the living room where everything gets dumped.

Guess what I’m going to be doing today? I can’t do the whole barn, or even the whole room, for that matter. But I can start. And often, that’s all it takes to shift the energy.

Back to the title of this post – Sunday Appreciation. My appreciation today is for all of you, listening to me, being supportive, allowing me to vent. I’ve never done it before, and hopefully won’t feel the need to do it again. But if I do, I appreciate all of you who listen.

Have a blessed day today.

Colleen